I know some will say I am exaggerating. I know some will think I am going mad. I know some will accuse me of playing innocent. But since people will think and say many different things, I am sure there is at least one person out there, who will say, that they understand me. Like I have said a couple of times already: at this moment I am living in the place of the unknown. I still can not put all the puzzles together, so even I do not get everything yet. It has been such a long time. Four months ago, everything seemed so perfect, at least on the outside. And then, something happened. What was it? What are the causes for this mess starting? It is not what I saw, what my best friends or me did. That was just the start. I think the causes are much deeper and much scarier then the event, that led us to where we are now. I can not exactly name all the causes, since it is about the fault of all three. But I can mention some of those that are connected to me. For example, we were not open enough for others. It was always the group of three. And because of that, we started feeling too personal with each other. And because of that, we became too intimate for best friends. And because of that, feelings started spreading round and round. So, one stupid thing led to the other. And before we knew it, we destroyed everything we ever had.
It was usually “two against one” way of fighting. But it gets worse, when it comes to the “two plus you against you.” Everything gets more complicated when the battle becomes self destructive. So on the one side you are fighting with others, and then on the other side you have your worst enemy, yourself. And this enemy is the only one, who is qualified to finish you off. Of course, others take care of bringing you down, but it is always me, who finishes the job. I will not say it is done with me. I am still struggling. We all are. But it does not matter, if the fighting is over. Feeling the consequences is never ending. Because of the battle, we all live in a crisis now. I hope we will be able to recover someday. The war did not only
affect us. Friends around us were injured as well. At the beginning I mentioned the word “exaggerating.” It refers to the title. The World War III. And now you are asking yourself, why am I using the term “World War,” for fighting with my best friends. I have a simple explanation. They meant everything, better yet, they meant the world to me. And they still do. We are lost, which means I lost my whole world. I am not sure I can build a world, as good as it this one was. And if that one collapsed, I am afraid, every one will. So it is like a World War to me. I have been fighting with everything and everyone I ever had. And there is only one thing I am sure of about ending this war. Nobody wins, we all lose.
NOTE* This was written 3 years ago, when I was going through the worst nightmare of my life. This was also the time of my depression and after 4 years, I can say that it got better. I am still not as I was, I know I will never be, but I have changed for better. When reading this now, I do not agree with everything anymore, but I can understand why I felt this way and I will never be ashamed of my thinking back than. It is a good thing people change. First I changed from better to worse, but I got lucky enough to get better again. You never know how things will turn out. Just be patient. It took me 4 years.
@allischaaff and a special tag for you, you know why :)