Signs He's Attracted to You From the First – & A Real Guy's Thoughts
Have you ever read one of those Cosmo articles on how to tell if a guy is falling for you, and thought, "Is this for real?" It's only natural to wish that you could ask a real, live hottie for his take on all the magazine nonsense.
Luckily, that's exactly what I've done! So you don't have to :) I asked three of my totally cute guy friends what they think of these signs that a guy is attracted to you from the very first conversation. Check out their highly informative answers below, so you know exactly what's going through the mind of the next cutie to cross your path.
#1 He gets personal.
Asking personal questions, like if you have a boyfriend, means he's trying to find out whether you're single and he's definitely into you.
Guy 1: "It's true, that's what I do."
Guy 2: "Yes. Uh huh. I do that."
Guy 3: "Definitely? No. Interested? Yes. Because that's a basic thing you do when you're into a girl – find out if she has a boyfriend. It doesn't mean he's gonna go for you. It just helps to know she's targetable. It means he's looking at you as a woman."
#2 He tries to touch you. A lot.
Does he look for excuses to make physical contact? Do his hugs seem more intimate that the situation calls for? He's totally into you.
Guy 1: "I don't mess with that... it's just not a good idea. You have to be really sure she's into it... I'd rather wait. I'm also just not a very touchy person."
Guy 2: "I totally do this, but never like encroaching on her space. It has to be playful. High fives, one armed hugs, et cetera."
Guy 3: "From touch, it's obvious that, at the very least, the guy wants you. But it doesn't mean he wants YOU you. He wants a part of you. It could mean he thinks you're hot, but not necessarily anything more. Also, just because he doesn't touch you doesn't mean he isn't into you. He might be being cautious, or wants to be respectful. If I have a feeling it's going to be a serious relationship, why ruin it by running the risk of seeming like a creepy dude? Basically, guys who are used to making physical contact, who are good at it, are much more likely to do this."
#3 He compliments you.
If he compliments your clothes or your smile or something even more personal than that, it shows he's interested in you, and what makes you "you."
Guy 1: "Of course. It's like the basic human way of getting somebody to like you. Not in a creepy way or anything, it's just true."
Guy 2: "Yes. I usually start off completely innocuous, like, 'Your outfit looks good,' or 'Your hair looks nice,' and then if we get to know each other more, I compliment more personal stuff. Like, personality stuff."
Guy 3: "Agree with the first part, but definitely not with the second part. It's one of those basic steps. I do it to win her over. Not necessarily because I'm in love with her, but because it's one of those basic steps to win people over. Along the way you might fall for her, but you have to see. In short: if he does this he's definitely interested, probably skilled, but it's still unclear whether he wants you for you."
#4 He ends any interruption quickly.
Phone calls, his bros trying to get his attention – if he quickly puts a stop to any and all interruptions, and does his best to give you his undivided attention, it's because he wants every moment with you to count.
Guy 1: "Yeah. That's actually a big one. But some people are less intense about it than others."
Guy 2: "I generally put my phone on silent, or keep my phone face down. I want her to know that I'm definitely not looking at that thing."
Guy 3: "This means he's very interested. How much a guy wants a girl is probably proportional to the amount of time and effort he puts into the relationship. And it's something a guy can't hide, because unless they're good at it, they don't like to play that game. If they want something, they go for it. But here's the catch: he might not be like that after two years in a relationship. Girls have to understand how guys change over time. You fall into a routine. You can't sustain that kind of concentrated time and effort that you exhibit in the get to know you phase."
#5 He wants your attention.
He does stupid stuff just to get you to look at him, and tries to out-talk other guys in conversation with you. If he wants your attention, it means he's definitely attracted to you.
Guy 1: (laughs) Yeah. Yeah... Also, I hate it when I'm into somebody and they're on their phone. It makes me feel... insignificant."
Guy 2: I don't know... I don't personally do it, but I think some guys might do that. I feel like it has to be a mutual thing. I'm not gonna try to get somebody's attention who doesn't want to pay attention to me."
Guy 3: "I think it's more of an ego thing. More immature people tend to act like that... I'm not sure if that's a very effective way to attract girls. Girls like more maturity and stability. Does that mean that he's into you? Maybe he just wants to look good in front of girls in general."
#6 He’s overprotective of you.
He pays attention to potential danger, like walking on the outside of the sidewalk so he can stay between you and traffic. For many guys, the protective instinct is closely tied to love.
Guy 1: "Mhm. That's a chivalry thing. Some people aren't chivalrous, but I definitely am. Actually, sometimes I do it a little too much, like so much so it becomes annoying..."
Guy 2: "I don't know... that sounds like very "masculine" language. Like "I have to protect her!" I mean, I'm aware of my surroundings, but I'm not overprotective. I'm more into girls who can take care of themselves."
Guy 3: "That's overprotective? That's just being a gentleman. I think it shows whether he's cultured or not. I do that with my girlfriend, you know, walking on the outside of the sidewalk. But it's something I picked up, to show that I'm caring, that I'm relationship material. If he's doing this, he's skilled. He's chivalrous. He isn't necessarily into you, but he might be trying to impress you."
#7 He asks when he can see you again.
It might be your first conversation ever, but he already wants to know when you're going to hang out next. He wants to make sure you're not going to disappear on him!
Guy 1: "I'm nervous about that. I'm bad at doing it on the spot... but yeah, that's probably a thing for some people. Personally, I like to take it all in, then make decisions about reconnecting later."
Guy 2: "Yeah, I tend to do that. When I first get to know somebody, I have no problem taking a chance and asking them to get coffee. Because it doesn't matter if I get rejected; I haven't known you long enough to have actual deep feelings for you, so might as well, right?"
Guy 3: "It means he's interested in you. But don't take it as a sign that he truly wants you. It just means he wants to get to know you better. Interested, without a doubt. And if a guy doesn't ask, he's definitely not into you."
#8 He’s very friendly.
He's already trying to make it seem like you guys are best friends, even if you just met. He's trying to speed up the "get to know you" process because of how eager he is to actually be that close with you.
Guy 1: "Mhm. A lot of people don't like the preliminary stuff, myself included. I'd rather just get to the good stuff."
Guy 2: "Yes. Sort of. I try to do that, but without being invasive, because there's a pretty thin line between being friendly and being creepy."
Guy 3: "I make it very clear from the first interaction whether I'm interested or not. Friendly guys are the ones who confuse girls, because they never come right out and say whether they're interested or not. He's more likely just a flirt, whether he knows it or not. If you're worrying about it, you should probably find someone else. Why would you want to be with someone who leaves you wondering?"
#9 He looks for ways to stay in touch.
This one is obvious. If he asks for your number, or friends you on Facebook mere hours later, it's because he wants to see you again.
Guy 1: "Yeah. I'm not usually shy about that. Some people will wait like 2 days to send a text or to friend on Facebook, but I usually don't."
Guy 2: "Yeah, I totally do this."
Guy 3: "This one's tricky. Probability-wise, it's more likely that he's into you, but also, it doesn't really mean anything. So yes and no. And if they don't ask, but you want to see them again, you should go after them! He might be too shy to ask himself."
#10 He stays in touch.
If he actually follows up and does the necessary work to stay in touch, you know he's hooked. A guy doesn't send a "hey, how's it going?" text unless he's actively thinking about you.
Guy 1: "Yeah, that's definitely true. I think it's nice to show somebody that you're thinking about them."
Guy 2: "Definitely. I mean, I want to get to know you, so I'll ask how your day is going, and probably not talk that much about myself."
Guy 3: "It all depends on how long you've known each other. If you met a long time ago, and he still keeps in touch, like for a year, he's probably thinking of you as a potential target. He wants to know whether you still have a boyfriend, whether you're still available, etc. Like if he talks to you even when he doesn't necessarily have a reason to do so. He wants to maintain that possibility. He's definitely attracted or interested. Childhood friends are different – they're more likely to be just interested in being friends. But not always... Basically, any kind of contact is good, because it shows general interest. Like hm, this is worth trying."
#11 He gets competitive.
He tries to prove that he's the best by beating his friends at things, and gets angry when they make him look dumb in front of you.
Guy 1: "No, I don't think so. [Me: "But you're like, a pretty chill guy."] Yeah, but you're asking me right? Down with machismo!"
Guy 2: "Nah, I don't really do this. If there's a competitive edge in the room, I usually back off. Part of me feels like I just don't have the energy to waste on that sort of thing."
Guy 3: "Oh yeah, I definitely get competitive with other guys when a girl's involved. Out of respect, your friends might let to win at stuff, to make you look good in front of a girl. But with random people, it's just immature. I don't know, do girls even like that? Also, guys should know that there's a difference between being confident and being competitive. You should strive to be confident in yourself, without making it a contest."
#12 He tries to impress you.
Whether by winning in competitive activities, talking about his achievements, or highlighting interesting things about himself, he'll keep trying to win you over until he's satisfied that you're impressed.
Guy 1: "Not physically, or anything like that. Intellectually, maybe. I do that, even if it's kind of annoying. But it's natural when you're trying to make an impression on someone to brag a little bit."
Guy 2: "I try to do impressive things, not say them. I'm not going to just outright talk about how great I am. 'Here, let me read you something I wrote,' – I would NEVER do that."
Guy 3: "That's so childish. Why would a girl like you if you're so full of shit? Would you really want to date someone who might be lying to you just to impress you? Please, please don't fall for that. It's so stupid. Think, is this guy a liar? If he lies to impress you, he could lie about anything in the relationship. He's interested, but he's trying to take a shortcut. There's a difference between winning her over and impressing her. Impressing someone is kind of impersonal. It shows he's focusing on himself."
So what do you think?
Were you surprised by their answers? Do you have any more questions for our team of hotties? Let me know and I'll make a card about it! :D