My perfect type would be a slick, chrome guy with a guitar in his hand and poetry in his heart, but not without the rough edges. He looks like a rock star and acts like one too, he dabbles on the other side of the tracks, maybe he drinks, does drugs, treats his friends like shit. He wears leather jackets and skinny jeans, there's always a cigarette hanging from his mouth and he walks like a cyclone tearing up a small town. He doesn't care about anyone. He's got an edge, something dark inside of him. Dark hair, sensitive eyes and a smile that could kill. He's a loner, he's a jerk, he makes bad decisions but he'll change for me.
That's the call of a girl looking for a bad boy.
(James Dean, pictured above...the ultimate classic bad boy)
(Bad Boy and my celebrity crush, Pete Doherty with his then girlfriend international super-model Kate Moss)
The constant struggle for a girl like me is that I want someone who is going to care for me, but also not pay too much attention. The constant push and pull of a relationship speeding toward a wall without breaks is just exciting.
The chaos and the danger intrigues lovers of the bad ones, and we all know it's wrong, but we can't help it.
There's an inherent mystery that surrounds bad boys that the good guys just don't have. Everything is on the table with the good guys, they like you, they treat you well, they take you out, they pay for your meals. They're boring. They're stable. They're blah, so when we're looking for some adventure, a challenge, a complete 180 from the day-to-day, we look for a bad boy to fix everything. It's a natural cycle, when we get bored, we look for something to shake our lives up, and in relationships the same thing is true. That's where the bad boys come in.
Sid and Nancy, infamous rock and roll couple.)
Some girls want a prince charming, and others want a disaster. It's just a preference really. Speaking for myself, I'm kind of a wreck so I want someone who can identify with that, who won't judge me, who will go down in flames and pick us both back up.
It's kind of wrong isn't it? To want for disaster, to know that things are going to end badly, but to still cling to the wreckage?
There's something tricky about this fixation on bad guys...and that might be the reason why so many girls question their need for chaos. We're supposed to want something stable and sensitive, kind and careful. We're supposed to settle down and buy a house, have some kids, pay our bills.
We're not supposed to end up in alley-ways with guitars strapped to our backs, crying out to the moon like wolves, our hair a mess and our minds whacked out, living on the edge, blurring the lines between right and wrong.
But some people just don't identify with the picket fence, the clean-cut guy in the suit. Some live for the thrills in life, the crashes and the manic highs and lows. It may be a personality thing, or a culture thing, I'm not so sure.
One thing I do know though, is that those who walk the paths often frowned upon by others end up having the most rewarding times. And it doesn't matter if our pension for the bad guys is good or bad...it's just how we operate.
And we shouldn't be ashamed of that, because beneath all of the bad, the edges, the wreckage...we know there's more to them than the image. The cigarettes, the jackets and the brash attitudes.