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AlloBaber
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12 Best Jake the Dog Quotes – Adventure Time!
Everyone's favorite magical dog with stretchy powers, Jake the Dog is always there with a funny quip or a word of wisdom. There's a reason he's Finn the Human's right hand man! Relive some of his best moments with these totally math quote-n'-gif combinations.

"I'd rather be dancin' with some babes!"

– Evicted!
Wouldn't we all rather be dancin' with some babes, Jake? There's nothing a dance party can't fix, whether it's with some hot babes, with your BFFs, or just alone in your tree fort.

"I wasn't scared! I was singing! I was singing my scream song. Wooaah! Wooaaooh!"

– Evicted!
Jake is a courageous warrior, but even courageous warriors get scared sometimes. That's okay. Just grab your buddy's hand, and sing your scream song if you need to!

"My subconscious must be hungry, huh?"

– The Witch's Garden
Om nom nom. Like most of us, Jake is very open about the fact that he loves food more than people. So you're hungry all the time? So what. Food is basically the best thing ever, and you should enjoy it.

"I have pants! Spun from spider webs by pixies."

–Donny
It turns out Jake's not as naked as we always believed. I wonder if spiderweb pants are comfortable?

"Let me explain some junk about dating. Right now you're at tier one, which is hugging, but pretty soon you'll be at tier two, which is smooching. Then down the road you'll reach tier five, when she'll let you discover all fifteen feet of her long, beautiful stomach. And after a while you'll make it to tier eight where you touch her horn for the very first time. Very special."

– Burning Low
When it comes to the ladies, Jake is a total pro. He's always ready to help Finn out with some prime tips. His explanation of the tiers of dating is a classic moment that helped us all understand just how special it is the first time you touch someone's horn.

"Dude, suckin' at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something."

– His Hero
More classic Jake wisdom. If at first you really suck, try, try again. And one of these days, you'll suck a little less! In other words, work hard and don't give up.

"Girl, you smell good. Did you take a bath in rainbows and cupcakes?"

– Slow Love
Still the best pickup line I've ever heard. Not joking, I think I'd be really into a guy who used this one on me. I put a lot of effort into smelling good, so it's nice when people appreciate it.

"I love you, Everything burrito."

– Conquest of Cuteness
Again, it's clear that Jake understands the importance of food. Also, now I want a burrito.

"Bad biscuits make the baker broke, bro."

– I Remember You
A truly remarkable parable about giving things your all. Don't just bake biscuits – bake biscuits you'll be proud of. Biscuits that will make your mom and dad and baby sister proud. Bake the kind of biscuits that will change the world!

"It's not easy, but you have to be persistent. You might have to defeat a demon lord, or warp through several worlds. But once you do, you walk up the wizard stairs, and produce your magic key you got in the water world and unlock the chamber door. Then, you walk right up to the princess, and give her a smooch. ...Does that make sense?"

– Too Young
As Jake explains here, hard work pays off. Sometimes you need to put in a little effort to charm your princess, but what's defeating a demon lord or two compared to true love?

"Your constant harassment of the female gender makes me siiick."

– I Remember You
Jake's a modern man, and he's not threatened by powerful women. In fact, he thinks they're pretty awesome. He's got no shame about calling people out when they mess with his ladies. When somebody's being a bully or a total ignoramus, let 'em know. Someone will be glad you did.

"Running is evil."

– The Witch's Garden
It's not just you, Jake. That's how we all feel.

"You’re getting all hung up, all hung up on imaginary problems. You gotta focus on what’s real, man."

– Puhoy
Despite how scary his twisted-up face looks in this gif, Jake's definitely got a point. Sometimes our crazy brains overthink things, or turn wee little molehills into giant scary mountains. Don't let yourself get all bent out of shape over imaginary problems. Try to see things objectively, as they truly are, and not let the silly little things get you down.

We love you, Jake!

Does Jake's wisdom speak to a problem in your own life?
Who's your favorite Adventure Time character? I'll make a best quotes card for them next!
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