Except I didn't scare easy as a kid.
Adulthood is a very different story...
Zombies scare me.
Like. A lot.
Like, I can't watch zombie movies. Not even Shaun of the Dead. (I am aware that I am missing out on an excellent movie. I do not care.)
I'm freaking TERRIFIED of zombies. But I've found ways to make myself feel safer...
I think of ways to escape during the zombie apocalypse.
Now, truth be told, I'm willing to take one for the team. If I've been bitten, I'm not holding out hope for a cure. If I know I'm gonna die, I'm going to take control of my destiny and make sure I don't take anyone else with me or spread the disease any further. Because I'm a nice person.
But I intend to try and escape first.
Plan #1: Steal a boat. grab as many supplies as possible, sail as far north as I can, fishing as necessary.
Plan #2. Acquire many knives and hole up in a Costco. Make sure I have the higher ground and wait it out.
Plan #3. Set a bunch of fire traps, burn anything that moves wrong. Make sure there is an adequate water source nearby.
Literally the only reason to bother with jogging.
Because I intend to be the fastest one in the group. I'm sorry, I'm sure I love you very much but I'm not gonna watch you get eaten as I run away.
Most people collect normal things.
I collect guides to surviving the apocalypse. I genuinely dislike camping but I'm confident about my abilities to survive in the wilderness if I have to.
I mostly blame my ex.
He was really into zombies. And we were dating when I was a young, impressionable teenager. So everything he said about them stuck with me. The genuinely terrifying threat of an unstoppable virus. The similarities a rabies epidemic has with zombie myths. The fact that people panic and act irrationally in emergency situations...
Don't mind me. I'll just be collecting knives.
Because you don't have to reload those.