Imagine you meet this cute girl at a party.
She's pretty, she's fun to talk to, and she's got a smile that makes your heart beat faster. You'd love to get to know her better – maybe ask her out for coffee, or even dinner. Maybe you'd just like to take her home. But how do you know if she's feelin' what you're feelin'?
Being a lady (and a semi-professional people watcher), I consider myself a bit of an expert on those little behaviors that can reveal what a girl is thinking. Today I did a little research on psychology sites, just to make sure I covered all my bases, and compiled the 12 most telling signs (in my opinion) that a girl is interested in a guy.
Of course, a girl is nothing without her galpals, so I asked two of my friends (who are total hotties, by the way) to give their opinions on whether these signs hold true for them.
Read on, and soon you'll be a total pro at sensing a girl's interest from the very first conversation :)
#1 She teases you.
It's the classic playground pick-up line: throw some woodchips in their hair. When a girl teases you a lot, you can be sure she's crushing. It's a way of testing your sense of humor, and seeing if there's any chemistry there. Trust me, nothing brings out the chemistry between two people like flirty banter. Making fun of someone also gives you an excuse to talk to them – and maybe that's all she's after. So don't be insulted, guys; be flattered, and play along!
Girl 1: Yeah, teasing is definitely a way of being flirtatious. I tease everybody, but I also flirt with everybody... But yeah, if she's focusing on just teasing you, over everybody else in the room, you know she's into you. Remember, girls love funny guys!
Girl 2: Yes, absolutely. Honestly, I feel like that's just a natural instinct. You learn that when you're little; if you like someone, you chase them, you poke them. Because that's just the most natural way to get somebody's attention.
#2 She touches her hair a lot.
Playing with, twirling, or touching hair frequently is a preening behavior – and preening is what animals do when they want to appear attractive to members of the opposite sex. She's unconsciously trying to make sure she looks good, that her hair's not messed up, because she's trying to impress you. Half the time, I don't even notice until mid-way through a conversation with a hot guy that I'm running my fingers through my hair or twirling my ponytail like a school girl.
Girl 1: Personally, I don't really do that, because usually my hair's up. I don't think touching hair necessarily shows flirtation. Girls touch their hair a lot. Or for some, not at all. Basically, it's not the BEST way of showing she's interested. So look for other signs too.
Girl 2: I think that subtle hair flips are good, but if it's happening the entire time... that's kind of more like she's distracted. So many girls are so vain; they want to make sure they look good. That's a good sign. Personally, I don't touch my hair all that much, but I can see how other girls would.
#3 She's super friendly.
She's laughing at all your jokes, even the ones that aren't that funny; she's going out of her way to do things for you; she's already talking about the next time you guys are going to hang out, even though you just met – she's definitely interested. When a girl is super friendly, it's because she wants you to see how friendly and sweet she is, so that you want to spend more time with her.
Girl 1: I would definitely say laughing at all their jokes. She doesn't want you to feel awkward! She wants to show she's easy-going, and has the same sense of humor as you.
Girl 2: Oh, absolutely. If somebody seems easy to talk to, you're going to want to continue the conversation. Plus, laughing at somebody's jokes, that just strokes their ego.
#4 She licks (or bites) her lips.
Lip-licking is a subconscious gesture that, like playing with her hair, shows she's thinking about how she looks in front of you. She might be worried that her lips look too dry, or she might just be thinking about kissing you. Either way, this is definitely a tell – I lick (and bite) my lips a lot when I'm talking to someone I want to bang.
Girl 1: I don't know! That one's pretty obvious, and some people aren't like that. Like, I would never do that... or I don't think I do it, at least. Maybe I should pay more attention... I would more likely touch my lips, over licking them. Talking to a guy I like, I'd have my hand closer to my face for sure. Great, I'm going to overthink everything now!
Girl 2: I think for confident girls, this is totally a thing. It's a very sexy gesture that can be taken in a very sensual way. Like, this might not happen in a coffeeshop. But if you've got a couple shots in you... However, I wouldn't do this for just a casual conversation. It more like an out at the bar thing.
#5 She reciprocates.
When you're having a conversation with a woman and you offer up some information about yourself, pay attention to how she responds. If she offers up a similar level of information, it might be a hint she's into you. Studies show that both sexes tend to reveal personal details to people they like. Even if all you're talking about is how much you love Mexican food, the bonding moment you share over these seemingly insignificant details increases the intimacy of your relationship.
Girl 1: I think giving back the same amount of information, if not more, is definitely a good sign. She wants to keep the conversation going. Because as everyone already knows, the one word answer is a surefire sign she's NOT interested.
Girl 2: Yeah, because it's all about first impressions. If you both like sports, or both like hiking, you're more likely to have something to talk about on future dates. It's a common denominator. It breaks the ice, and helps you get to know each other better.
#6 She invades your personal space.
When a girl gets close to you – she stands a little closer than normal, or makes an effort to be by your side – it means she's totally interested in you. Moving closer to someone is the first step towards touching them, right? Research shows that physical proximity can increase attraction between two people. By getting in a guy's space, I'm trying to suggest that I enjoy the idea of our bodies getting closer... and closer... and closer...
Girl 1: Yeah. Like if she brushes up against you, or if your hand is somewhere and she puts her hand close to it – not close enough to touch, but close enough to feel that electricity flowing back and forth between you... Or if she leans in for little whispers and stuff... damn. That's some FLIRTIN'.
Girl 2: Mm. Absolutely. Think about it – if you're at the bar and somebody's between you and the person you like, you want to get them out of the way. Because getting closer together physically leads to touching, which leads to becoming even more intimate...
#7 She exhibits open posture.
Keep an eye out for bodily cues that she's allowing you or welcoming you into her physical space. Think of it as the opposite of closed posture. If her arms are crossed, her body is turned away from you, and she's slouching, she's definitely not interested in you, and you should probably leave her alone. But if she's standing up straight, her arms are uncrossed, and she's leaning in towards you, there's a good chance she's interested (or at least making an effort to appear so).
Girl 1: I always read stuff like that! So like, if you're in a bar and you go up to someone, and they're into you, that's definitely the body language you would see. But if it's someone you already know, like a friend, and you like them... that's when it's harder to tell. You're usually pretty open with your friends, in terms of posture, because you feel comfortable with them. So this more applies to bar-like situations.
Girl 2: I agree with this one! Those kinds of gestures are welcoming. They tell you to come closer. Whereas slouching, hovering over her phone... that means back off. It's pretty clear. But somehow, some guys just don't get it...
#8 She mirrors your actions.
Ugh, I can't believe how easy I am to read sometimes. I like to think that I'm all mysterious, but honestly, I mirror ALL the time. When I'm into a guy, I subconsciously copy his actions. Like if he takes a sip of his drink, scratches his head, looks around the room – seconds later, I find myself doing it too. I hate being so obvious! But guys, that's good news for you. Look for mirroring behaviors, because they're a sure sign that either she's into you, or she wants to sell you something.
Girl 1: Yeah, I could see that being true. Because you're so focused on them, you don't even realize you're doing it. Especially mirroring the way they speak. You'll pick up their little phrases and start to talk like them.
Girl 2: Oh, you know what? Sometimes I find myself picking up on their lingo. Like if they use the word, "bro," I start saying it too. I guess it shows that you're on the same level as them. There's resonance between you. It shows you can hang, basically.
#9 She tilts her head and smiles.
Formally known as "head canting," this is a sign that she's curious or interested in what you're saying, and she feels comfortable around you. Especially if she's exposing her neck and smiling a little – think about it, would you really do that with a predator around? – she's totally digging your vibes.
Girl 1: How do people figure this stuff out?? I didn't even realize this was a thing... but now that you're making me think about it... yeah, I can see that. It at least means you're listening, you're interested in what they're saying.
Girl 2: Yeah. It means she's into the conversation, and she's into what you're saying. It's a really good sign, actually, because it means you have her undivided attention.
#10 She flirts with her eyes.
Does she make eye contact multiple times? A classic move that I use ALL the time to show my interest is catching a guy's eye, looking away, and then making eye contact again, this time for a little longer. It's only natural to look at something that interests you; if I think a guy is cute, or if I want something to happen between us, it's hard to stop myself from looking at him all the time! Gazing deep into your eyes is another sign she's totally into you.
Girl 1: Oh yeah, tooootally. Like when you're at a party, and you see someone looking, and then you look back...That's sooo it. It's the universal language for "You're not bad on the eyes, so maybe if your personality doesn't suck, we can hang out."
Girl 2: I think eye contact in general is just a confident trait. If you can hold eye contact with somebody, it means you're making a point of connecting with them. It's really powerful, because it allow you to connect on this deep level, but without relying on touch. I love eye contact. It's got such sexual undertones sometimes. Tyra Banks always talks about doing the "smize" – smiling with your eyes. She's definitely got something there. It's a subtle gesture, but it says so much.
#11 She asks a lot of questions.
When conversing with a guy that piques their interest, women tend to ask a lot of questions. It's a way of keeping the conversation going, and keeping you nearby, as well as learning more about you. I definitely do this; when I'm into a guy, I want to learn as much about him as possible, to see if my instinctive attraction to him is actually worth it based on his personality.
Girl 1: Yeah, it shows you want to learn more about them and keep the conversation going. Also, the better her questions, the more interested she is. Like you wanna have really thought-provoking questions, so they're like, "Wow. This girl is so cool and interesting."
Girl 2: Yeah, true. I mean, you can't get to know somebody within five minutes, so if it's just a "Hi, how are you," you're not going to have any kind of connection. Whereas if you talk for a long time, it allows you to get to know them better, and opens up other conversational avenues to go down in the future.
#12 She casually touches you.
The flirty touch on the arm; the playful shove. These are some of the biggest tools in a woman's arsenal when it comes to making her interest known. Chances are, if she's touching your arm, she also wants to touch... other parts of your body. She might also just be a really friendly person, though, so make sure there are other signals at play as well.
Girl 1: I'd say if the girl is confident, she'd probably do that. Girls who are shy, on the other hand, will definitely not. They might like you, but they're too shy for the touching thing. Shy girls are hard. They're very confusing. Then again, it also depends on how drunk everyone is...
Girl 2: Yes, I agree. Subtle touching is definitely a huge indicator that she's into you. Because, again, it's just forming that physical connection between two people. But keep in mind that the key word is "subtle"... If it's a big two-handed shove, obviously that means she's not into it, so back off.
Bottom line: every girl is different. I felt these signs all held pretty true for me, so I was surprised by my friends' answers. I guess they make a good point, though – some girls are just shyer or more subtle than that! So play close attention, and try to spot a few of these signs along the way. One or two, you can't be sure what she's thinking; but if she exhibits most or all of the 12, you can be positive there's only one thing on her mind: you!
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